Jealousy and insecurity can wreak havoc in any type of relationship. These toxic emotions create toxic relationships and can take away any chance of living the life you’ve always wanted.
Your life may be full of people who are draining your energy due to an incurable case of jealousy.
How can you tell if your partner has an extreme case of jealousy?
Here are some ways to tell if your partner has an extreme case of jealousy that could wear you out in your relationships. They will do some or all of the following:
- tell you how to dress; acting, wearing hair, etc.
- You worry too much about where you go when you socialize;
- He insists on accompanying you to mundane places like the grocery store;
- Interfere with or veto your social plans;
- Making excessive phone calls to find out your whereabouts;
- Be intense in everything;
- Being unable to communicate and discuss anything with you;
- He will put you down and do anything to make you feel inferior;
- Having a negative outlook and low self-esteem/lack of confidence;
- Being dominant in household arrangements;
- Be aggressive and show an unreasonable attitude towards minor details.
One of the hardest things for women to recognize in a man is mistaking traits like confidence, determination, persistence, and ambition for aggressive behavior due to a lack of confidence. When a man shows persistence due to insecurity and jealousy, he can become a recipe for disaster in the relationship stage. At the dating stage, this person seems charming and charismatic. However, once a relationship is established, this person begins to believe that he will lose his partner, since he BELIEVES in himself that he is unlovable.
Confronting the jealous partner
Before you decide to confront the jealous partner, you must decide whether or not the relationship is salvageable. You can do this in a number of ways, but I highly recommend some of the articles here! Personally I have found that recharging and reconnecting with my goals is a good way to get to my roots. Once I do that, I can easily identify those people who care about my goals and dreams.
Then, once I know that, I can choose the people who have the potential to support me and the ones I can rule out. For supportive peers, have a conversation with them providing feedback and constructive criticism. This feedback can explain in detail how what he says makes you feel.
The five steps to confront your partner
- Set the stage: (be positive) “Let’s honor/rekindle/reconnect our relationship and I’d like to be truthful/honest/frank with you.” She wouldn’t start by saying, “You have a problem / you know what your problem is / what your problem is.”
- Explain how you feel – When you do/say _______, it makes me feel ___________
- Ask: Would you be willing to stop saying/acting/doing _____________?
- Listen – Listen to their response and try to detect or determine sincerity. An honest answer will be one that appreciates your feelings and your courage to say something. If the other person objects, blames you, or mocks/criticizes you, then consider that person an idiot and either disengage or continue with a toxic relationship.
- Summarize and then restate: repeat their response and acknowledge that you heard them and repeat your concern and the consequences. For example, “I’m glad you’re willing to change your behavior from ________ to/to me that makes me feel like ____________. Or if he continues to engage in toxic behavior, say, “I’m sorry we can’t come to an understanding. “Since this really affects my feelings and it is very important to me and it seems that you do not agree, I think that continuing this relationship is not a supportive and supportive environment for me and I have to separate.”