Sometimes I hear from wives who are extremely frustrated that their husband is telling them that he wants to save their marriage and that the affair is over and yet they find clear and clear evidence that he is in telephone contact with the other woman.

So, understandably, the wife will want to find a way to stop this once and for all. Since the husband has definitely not earned her trust, she does not want to give him any leeway so that he can keep in touch with the other woman. And she wants to be sure that he couldn’t contact her even if he wanted to. One way to try is to block the other woman’s phone number.

You may hear a comment like, “My husband promised that he would end things with the other woman. I really wanted to believe he was telling me the truth, but I had my doubts. I have read his emails and text messages. I know that he was making claims of being in love with her. I also know there was a lot of cheating in the relationship. So frankly, I don’t really care much what he says. And that’s why I went and looked at the call history on his cell phone and on our home phone. And guess what I found? His phone number. At this point I’m thinking I’m going to contact both the home phone and cell phone companies and block her phone number. Will this prevent him from contacting her? “

I wish I could give you a definite yes. I wish I could tell you that if you took this simple step, you would never be in touch again, she would be left out of your lives and you would only have to worry about saving your marriage. I wish I could tell you that, but I wouldn’t be honest with you if I did.

That is not to say that a man who really wants to comply with his wife’s request is not more motivated to do so when he knows that the other woman cannot easily contact him. I’m not telling you that taking this step won’t be an impediment because I think it could be.

But I also have to say that if a man wants to keep cheating and wants to communicate with the other woman, he can definitely do it without much trouble. I could go somewhere and call her. I could call her from work. (After all, it’s your number that’s blocked, not his.) He could email you from work. They could contact each other through social media. They could chat on their computers. Or you could just go see her if they cut her off the phone. Sure, you may need to work a bit more with these options. But, if you really want to get in touch with her, you can bet that she will find herself the same way as before.

So where does that leave you? Well, as someone who has been there, and someone who has seen how difficult it is to get over this without someone else in the picture, I can tell you that the best thing for you is to let him legitimately choose to stay away from her. . If you push, threaten, or follow you around, they’ll just try to avoid you or resent you, at least most of the time.

You may wonder how you get him to make this decision on his own. It is not always easy. Deep down, you have to want to do it. But you can do a couple of things to cheer it up. The next time you see the phone number, you can say something like, “I see you’ve been in contact with her again. She told me she wouldn’t. So she’s not being honest. I thought we had agreed to save our marriage. . But to do that, the adventure has to end. That means we won’t be able to work on our marriage right now. I can’t participate in this with you. So you’ll have to let me know when it’s really over because you’re obviously not in that moment at this moment. I am going to spend my time healing and working on myself. I cannot waste my time healing this marriage until it is a legitimate marriage with only two people in it. I trust that you will let me know when the adventure is really over and she is really out of our lives. “

Another thing you can do is let him know that you are going to follow up on every claim he makes. In other words, if it’s not where it says it’s supposed to be, the question is why. You don’t want to turn a blind eye when something doesn’t make sense to you. In no way am I telling you to be combative or to seek a fight, but your husband should know that you are watching him closely and that you will catch him when he tries to lie to you.

But to answer the question posed, unfortunately, I don’t think blocking her number is going to make him break contact with her if that’s not legitimately what he wants to do. So the key is to encourage him to make the decision that avoiding her and cutting off contact is legitimately his intention and what he is going to do.