While 50% of the male population is exclusively heterosexual, only 4% are exclusively homosexual. About 10% of men at some point in their life have predominantly homosexual relationships over a period of a few years. A man’s orientation is determined by the sexual anatomy of the partner that causes his arousal and sex drive to engage in penetrative sex.
Gay men are often promiscuous. Research indicates that a high proportion of gay men have sex with many different men, and 22 percent have had more than ten partners. This is in contrast to only 29 percent of lesbian women who have sex with more than two partners and only 4 percent who have had more than ten partners. Lesbians are rarely promiscuous.
Sexual pleasure is based on a man’s own physical gratification rather than the emotional rewards that women enjoy from pleasing their lover. Young men, both gay and straight, tend to focus on penetration and ejaculation as the goal of an encounter. They approach sex with an ego which means that the sexual attributes of a sexual partner are a trophy to brag about. They are easily flattered that someone agrees to have sex with them. A man’s desperation to find a partner can lead him to accept any type of sexual activity.
It is a good idea to meet someone before getting sexually involved. Having sex with someone tells you little about that person. Many men (gay and straight) begin by choosing a sexual partner on the basis of sexual chemistry. If a man stops allowing lust to cloud his judgment, he may make different sexual decisions. If a person is someone you would never be friends with in other circumstances, you don’t want to be friends, or you want any of your friends or family to meet, maybe you should stay away.
Young men (regardless of orientation) have disadvantages when it comes to being a good lover. Above all, their responsiveness is a problem because they cannot maintain an erection long enough to spend time pleasing and being pleased by a lover. The novelty means that they ejaculate quickly. Young men seek quantity over quality of interaction. They measure their relationships in terms of a lover’s sexual attributes and see no value in knowing them as people. They don’t care that their lover has nothing in common with them or if they are a nice or even decent person.
Due to their youth, young men lack experience. The experience helps us to relax to create a comfortable environment to enjoy sexual pleasure. The experience helps with the introduction and reduces any discomfort with a new lover. It teaches how we can suggest sexual activity and vary the pace. It teaches us what we enjoy ourselves and also what a lover can enjoy.
Casual sex, even with protection, is always a risk. Being the penetrator may seem simple, but we are not talking about sticking a rod in a hole here. A penetrator needs to use some sensitivity and respond to feedback. Verbal communication can be helpful. The person being penetrated can cooperate and give feedback to adapt to the thrusting action of the penetrator and make it more erotic and sexually rewarding. This cooperation borders on consent and represents the line between pain and pleasure.
A gay man should always protect himself, including the use of condoms and lubrication. Many of the tissues involved in penetrative gay sex are sensitive and easy to tear. There are many ways to give and receive sexual pleasure. Sex between men does not have to include penetration. No one should feel pressured to participate in penetrative sex, especially if both lovers do not enjoy it. If something doesn’t feel right, it shouldn’t be done. Sex is about pleasure, both given and received. If it hurts, stop.
Good sex means finding a longer-term partner that you can experiment with, explore, and discover what you like. Taking the time to choose a partner who is a good match (personality, values, and interests) and investing in that relationship can make gay male experiences that much more rewarding. Good sex, ultimately, is a matter of intimacy and pleasure. Loving and passionate sex is much more satisfying than a one night stand with a guy who may be enthusiastic but is not good at it.
Even if gay men theoretically agree to open relationships, they are notoriously jealous. Open relationships smell like a selfish desire to attract lovers and have a setback. If a guy isn’t willing to commit, let that be the deciding factor. This does not necessarily mean being a life partner, but simply building a substantial relationship that lasts for years rather than months.
Perhaps there is a misconception that gay men cannot get pleasure from penetrating a vagina. But it is much more likely that this is not a question of stimulation involved. The problem is the fact that gay men are not turned on by women’s bodies. They don’t find the female sexual anatomy remotely exciting. So they are not turned on by any activity with a woman. The stimulation involved in any sexual situation is just that: stimulation. The mental arousals that cause arousal and orgasm are much more critical.
Many of the (homosexual) men had been very promiscuous, sometimes encountering tens or hundreds of sexual partners. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)