Do you know your credit score or the details of your Social Security report? Can you find your home deed, mortgage, life insurance policies, car title, auto insurance policies, tax returns for the last 5 years, brokerage and bank statements for the last year? Do you know how much your spouse earns or how much you put into a 401k plan each year?

Getting divorced is often a wake-up call when it comes to finding out what you know and don’t know about your family’s finances.

Managing your finances isn’t about knowing which stocks, bonds, or mutual funds to buy. It’s about knowing what you own (assets); what you must (skills); what comes in (income) and what goes out (expenses). It’s about paying attention to where your money is going and being organized.

You will be required to produce a large amount of paperwork and financial documentation for the court, your attorney or mediator, and your future ex-spouse. Then let’s get started:

Clear out a workspace and gather all your statements: bank, brokerage, credit cards, etc. Other supplies to gather: paper, pen or pencil, 3-ring binder, hole punch, index dividers, highlighter, and a sense of humor.

First, let’s tabulate your net worth (difference between what you own and what you owe): Make a list of everything you own: home, car, brokerage accounts, life insurance, retirement accounts, and their value (the Internet can help-try KBB.com and zillo.com). Then list everything you owe: mortgage, car loan, credit card debt, school loans, and your outstanding balance. Keep this information stored in the first section of your 3-ring binder.

Next, find out where your money is going (your cash flow), or the reality of having no idea where you spent all that money. The easiest way to determine your cash flow is with a computer program like Quicken or QuickBooks. A useful website is mint.com. If you prefer not to use the computer, you can use Excel, columns on lined paper, or graph paper.

To make a budget, gather your checkbooks, pay stubs, and credit card statements. Assign each expense a category and a subcategory. Example: Utilities: Phone, Utilities: Cell Phone, Utilities: Cable and enter your expenses for each month. You’ll get a total for each subcategory, as well as a total for the entire Utilities category. Don’t forget to enter your income, including child support and alimony income. Print a report every month and a quarterly report every 3 months. Put them in a Cash Flow or Budget section of your binder.

It may take several months to get a picture of your income and expenses, but it will become the basis for managing your finances and negotiating child support and alimony.

With your cash flow management, you can look for places where you can reduce expenses or control expenses. Try to take a 10% discount off the top of your income as savings. Then rework your expenses to see if you can still manage them. Use whatever money you can save to:

• Get out of debt: pay off credit cards and loans
• Have an emergency fund not invested in the stock market. Aim for a minimum of 3 months of household expenses in savings. If possible, hold an extra 3 months in a short-term CD or money market account
• Take advantage of retirement plans

Put this information in the Savings Goal section of the folder.

Armed with this information, a consultation with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst early in the process can help you face the challenges of divorce with more confidence and dignity than might otherwise be the case.