The alcoholic has asked for help, successfully completed a short stay in treatment, learned about the disease of alcoholism, identified old behaviors, developed a schedule for living, and now finds himself alone, left to fend for himself.

It is quite unfortunate that very few alcoholics who enter treatment are lucky enough to attend a long-term care facility. The longer the treatment, the greater the chance that the alcoholic/addict will begin a lasting recovery program.

An analogy that can be used to demonstrate this situation is that the alcoholic, with little knowledge to be dangerous, finds himself alone, adrift in the sea of ​​life. At this point, the question is what the alcoholic has to hold on to in order to stay afloat. Did rehab give you any swimming lessons? Did rehab give you a stick or twig to hold on to? If the alcoholic was listening, they may have been given a raft or boat to sit on. The ultimate goal, of course, is for everyone to have a luxury yacht, capable of sailing the oceans of life in comfort and knowing that the ship can weather even the strongest emotional storms, without the need to resort to alcohol consumption. and drugs to lower their feelings. Recovered or cured alcoholics will tell you that it took many frightening moments and a long time before their ship could find safe harbor in a comfortable port.

It must also be remembered that alcoholism is a deadly disease and many are lost at sea never knowing there was any hope of recovery. Many are able to see a ray of faith of hope from the lighthouse, but the noise of the storm, (the mental compulsion of the disease that clouds the thought), prevents them from hearing the bell of the safety buoy, and the height of the waves, (the physical obsession of the disease that produces an undeniable craving), prevents them from seeing the lifeline that has been thrown at them. Hopefully they have not died in vain and that their story can help those who seek help.

Weathering the emotional storms of life is what healthy, normal people do, and the goal of every addicted person is to learn to grow emotionally to the point where life can be lived on life’s terms, just as it is. normal people. Life is a two-person ship that is sailed with a soul mate. The disease of alcoholism wants the alcoholic to be alone, drive away anyone who loves him and commit suicide. Many alcoholics identify with the feeling of loneliness, having been to a crowded bar, a crowded reception, and feeling totally alone and unwanted. The alcoholic seldom feels love from others and cannot show true love towards others. I will love you only if you bring me another drink, or if you stop complaining about my drinking. Loneliness knows no love.

Left alone, the alcoholic will die.

However, before an alcoholic can find a soulmate, the alcoholic must first learn to love himself. In AA rooms the creed is that the recovered will love the alcoholic, until they learn to love themselves. Self-esteem has been ruined by drinking and drug use, and recovery begins with the return of self-esteem. The paradox is that the ego must be crushed before it can be identified. It takes a great deal of introspective soul-searching and a great deal of validation from another person before an alcoholic can determine whether he is going or coming in the direction of sanity. The alcoholic’s moral compass has been lost, abused, and misused, and restoring the compass to working order often requires additional professional guidance or therapy. To continue the analogy, the drunkard has drifted on the sea of ​​life, going in small circles, with a faulty compass, with no safe harbor in sight, and the likely destination is jail, institution, or death.

The teacher, preacher, priest, therapist, patron, healer, or anyone else must be attached at the hip if the alcoholic is to survive an early recovery. There is a daily need to validate the program of abstinence and emotional growth of alcoholics. The alcoholic must maintain a constant vigil to ensure that old habits and behaviors are not revisited.

In AA, the term “stinky thinking” is used to refer to those selfish, self-centered, egotistical, and arrogant thoughts that once supported the alcoholic’s justifications for drinking alcohol.

Remember, drinking alcohol is not how often a person drinks or how much they consume; it is the act of a person drinking enough to change her emotional behaviors. If one drink made her want to dance on the table and take off all her clothes, she was drinking alcohol. If she had two drinks to turn Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde, and only drank during a full moon, she was drinking alcohol. The notion that an alcoholic refers only to the person who lives under the bridge and drinks cheap wine from a bottle covered with a paper bag is a totally wrong perception. From Yale to prison, from the attic to the toilet, alcoholics will turn up everywhere as part of the estimated ten percent of the world’s population that is predisposed to alcoholism and addiction.

As uncomfortable as it is, the alcoholic must learn to express his feelings in a sane way. Sharing these feelings with another human being validates the alcoholic’s right to have feelings and that it is healthy for them to express them. Feelings that are tucked inside, repressed and unexpressed will result in the alcoholic relapse.

If the individual thinks every day, he needs to go to a meeting every day. At some point, the recovery program is no longer about drinking and drugging, it becomes a program for living. Drinking and taking drugs are nothing more than symptoms of the disease. The cause or result of the disease is an emotional collapse that can be cured.

People who recover from addictive emotional behaviors are considered miracles and miracles must be witnessed to be validated. It takes two to tango. When the addict/alcoholic comes to his senses and has learned to love himself, his soulmate will appear. It may be a former spouse or relationship that will flourish again in the realm of a sane world, or it may be necessary to move on and find a new healthy person who knows the love and happiness of sharing a miracle.

A healthy relationship requires two healthy people.