Sometimes I hear from women who are upset and worried that the other woman is still trying to keep in touch with the husband. A common way she will try to do this is through text messages. That way, she doesn’t have to talk to him and risk rejection, but she’s still putting herself in the situation in case he changes his mind.

I heard from one wife who said, “The woman my husband had an affair with is apparently having a hard time accepting that it’s over. She texts him constantly. I don’t think I’m cheering her on or going behind my back because, the middle of At that time the texts come when he’s standing next to me and he doesn’t try to hide it.Sometimes he tells her he’s busy and other times he ignores her.She texts him stupid like she asks him what is doing or if she’s happy. How do I make this stop? I want her out of my life. Sometimes I’m tempted to grab her phone, call her back and yell at her. But then I wonder if that’s the best idea”.

I had to accept that it probably wasn’t the best idea to confront her or even talk to her. Confronting her wasn’t likely to suddenly convince her to stop. In fact, sometimes it just makes her more determined to become a pest. In fact, I find that the more you interact with her, the harder it will be to get her to leave you alone. Because once she engages you, she will feel like she is responding to you and now she has a valid reason to continue the cycle.

Also, you may just want to make sure that your husband has been as clear as possible and hasn’t left any room for her to misunderstand. Some people have a hard time being very direct and even harsh after an affair is over. Unfortunately, sometimes this is what is required before she takes a hint. If being too firm doesn’t work, then I think there’s a way to handle this that takes a response off your hands, which I’ll talk about later.

Block her from calling or texting: I think the best first course of action is to contact your cell phone carrier and block their numbers. All carriers are different, but most of the time, this is a simple process. In fact, I can easily enter the number I want to block online with my own provider. A quick trip online or a quick phone call will often tell you what to do to prevent her from being able to call or text. You’ll probably want to block his cell phone, work phone, and home phone just to prevent him from having an easy or convenient way to get in touch with him.

The next step only if necessary: Sometimes the other woman doesn’t give up so easily. I heard the other woman bought a new cell phone, she used a friend’s phone or even used a pay phone to continue calling after she blocked her. You have a couple of options. You can continue to block all the numbers you use and expect him to try to switch phones all the time. However, the husband might consider changing her cell phone number. I know this is a huge drawback that many people will be reluctant to pursue. But sometimes this is another alternative to getting or staying in contact with a restraining order (although restraining orders are there if you need them). I find that the nastier things get, the more I tend to put up with because the more I had invested. The faster she can stop the process, the more likely she is to stop. Changing her cell phone number often means she has no way to continue texting you. And texting her is often the easiest way for her to hang on. You may also want to block her from email and social media accounts. You don’t want to give him any way to continue monitoring or contacting him.

Often she won’t like being cut out of her life like this, but you haven’t really given her a say. And hopefully, using technology to block her out will show her that her husband means what she says about her when she tells him she’s over. And therefore, she must begin to move on with her own life so that you and her husband can do the same.