Are you looking for someone who is right for you, but you are not sure where or how to find them? Many people say that opposites attract. Maybe that’s true, or maybe that’s just what we’re told as a way of explaining the “mystery” of relationships.

Being right for each other is more about having a “fit” of your personality, habits, and things you think are important. I call this the “compatibility factor.” Here are seven ways of compatibility to look for in your relationship.

1. Personality Compatibility: Do you really get along, or do you find that you are quietly irritated with the other person’s personality? Are you uptight and your date is relaxed? Think about if and how you will handle the tough days. Personality is a very important factor, and the most difficult to change.

2. Communication compatibility: Are you direct or indirect? Do any of you talk all the time? Are any of you the silent type? Watch your conversations. Decide if they flow and if they are pleasing to you.

3. Friends and Family Compatibility: Do you get along with each other’s friends and family, or is it a source of stress for your relationship?

4. Health and nutrition compatibility: Are you a fan of healthy food or a junk food addict? The only exercise you get is channel surfing? See if your health-related lifestyles match up or not.

5. Financial compatibility: Are you generous or frugal with your money? How is your partner with their finances? Money is one of the things couples fight over most often. If you share similar financial goals and means, this can be very helpful.

6. Educational Compatibility: Some studies have found (and I have found in my experience and practice) that educational compatibility and world experience are important for many couples. People tend to feel more comfortable with others who share similar life experiences, career opportunities, and worldviews.

7. Intimate Compatibility: Ideas for romance, intimacy, and closeness come into play here. An example is PDA (not a handheld) but Public Display of Affection. You may love hugging and kissing in public, and your date may think it’s wrong. Having a mismatched style can lead to hard feelings and have a long-term effect on your love life together.

I hope you have learned about some of the compatibility factors in your own relationship. So what can you do if you’re not a match? Can

1. Accept things as they are

2. Work on yourself and the relationship

Gold

3. Leave the relationship.

If you opt for change, you can only change yourself. It is unreasonable to demand that the person in your life change unless he wants it to. If you are in the dating and selection process, it is much more effective to choose a compatible partner now than to “fix” something that is “broken” later. Don’t be afraid to let go if things aren’t working out. Sometimes love really isn’t enough. Don’t worry, there are millions of singles in the world to choose from, and you just might find one that’s a match for you!