Children can say the funniest things. Art Linkletter, back in the days of black and white television, clearly demonstrated that children, when given the chance, can make unexpected and hilarious statements.
When our children were young, like many Louisianans, we would head to Destin, Florida, the Cajun Riviera, for a few days at the beach. This particular year we were living in Monroe, Louisiana, where I was a professor at Northeastern Louisiana University, now the University of Louisiana-Monroe. Our daughter was six and our son was four when we left for the sunny shores of Destin this summer. This was before Interstate 10, so we traveled the scenic route of Highway 90, when it was time to head east. With our beach towels, inflatable water toys, and a reservation at a beachside hotel, we were ready to go and everyone was looking forward to the trip.
Parents who have traveled by car with children know that the experience can exhaust the nervous system, patience and the desire to stop the car and leave them on the side of the road. He’s touching me. She’s on my side of the seat.” “He doesn’t take turns with the binoculars, Dad.” “Mom, he’s pinching me.” counting the number of animals we saw on the country roads we traveled. Charlene, my wife, and I got together. we’d stare and wonder why we wanted children, scold them, threaten to turn around and go home, promise “time-outs” when we get to our hotel room, and many other powerless threats to their well-being.
I have always believed in sex education for all children, starting at a very young age and extending throughout their school years. Unfortunately, the state of Louisiana and its school systems during the time my children were young and attending public schools did not. So my wife and I feel the need to inform our children about important issues about their sexual body parts, relative to their age capacity to understand and value the knowledge imparted. I am sharing this information with you now, because it is pertinent to this funny and true story of the five-legged horse. Part of our first introduction to our children was teaching them the proper names for their genitals. For example, it was not called his ‘wee-wee’ or tee-te’, but his penis. For her it was not called her, because you already know her names; she was her vagina. Other sexual parts received appropriate names.
Now let’s get back to our journey to Destiny. We were driving through a rural area, and in the fields there were some horses. I was busy watching the road, when suddenly, my son was tapping me on the shoulder, “Dad, look, a five-legged horse!” I looked in the direction of his pointing finger and there was a horse with a rather impressive boner. Before I could respond to my son’s excited announcement, my daughter chimed in, “Hey, stupid, that’s not a leg, that’s a penis, and you’ve got one too!” My son immediately started crying, I suspect he was afraid his penis would grow to that size. My wife and I couldn’t stop laughing, and my thoughts were, “Son, if only you were that lucky.”
Our children are now 48 and 46, with children of their own, and have heard my account of this trip several times, and still find it amusing. So when I hear that someone is planning a trip to Destin, I go back to the memory of the five-legged horse. Art, you’re right, kids say the funniest things.
I used this hopefully funny true story as a long introduction to the importance of sex education for our children and to draw their attention to an important parental role: sex education. Children today know a lot about sex, mainly from other children and from the media, especially from social networks, Facebook, etc. Much of what they are exposed to is inaccurate and is not attached to healthy values and responsible orientation. Parents can offer the right knowledge housed in a manner consistent with values that will guide the child toward safe and healthy choices.
Parents should not feel apprehensive about their important role in providing sex education. I wrote about this topic earlier in a previous post. “Tips for Talking to Your Teen About Sex.” Go to this article and take the initiative to help your children. When you remember the story of “The Five-Legged Horse,” smile and teach.