I used to joke that I’m a cheese addict, but I don’t laugh anymore. Apparently, it’s true.

According to Dr. Neal Barnard, associate professor of medicine at George Washington School of Medicine and founder of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, sugar, chocolate, and cheese contain addictive opiates that get us hooked. All three of my main food groups!

Sugar and chocolate, I can understand, but how did my love of fondue turn into a full-fledged addiction? Dr. Barnard explains that in 1981 researchers at Wellcome Research Laboratories found trace amounts of morphine in cow’s milk. Further investigation found that the cows were not injecting themselves, but were actually producing morphine, codeine, and other opiates in their livers.

It turns out that milk contains a protein called casein that releases various opiates called casomorphins during digestion. Before you get too excited, one type of those casomorphins has about a tenth of the pain-relieving power of morphine.

In the production of cheese, the protein casein is concentrated, so it is much higher than in milk. That’s why Dr. Barnard refers to cheese as “dairy crack.”

It gets worse. Cheese also contains an amphetamine-like chemical called phenylethylamine which is also found in chocolate. And it appears that cravings for cheese, like cravings for opiates, respond to the drug naloxone.

Not surprisingly, just like with other drugs, there are large organizations that make a concerted effort to hook us and keep us hooked. We call them the federal government and Big Cheese.

The USDA Report to Congress on Dairy Promotion Programs for the Year 2000 boasts that through government-sponsored programs, the cheese industry has encouraged fast-food restaurants to increase the amount of cheese in your offers. They have specifically targeted the poor cheese addicts, whom they call the “cravers”, so the goal of their advertising is to “trigger the craving for cheese”. As part of the program, Domino’s Pizza launched a line of 6 new pizzas with 40% more cheese.

Thanks in part to these government-sponsored programs, the average consumption of cheese in the US nearly tripled between 1975 and 2003 from 11 pounds per year to 31 pounds per year and that number is expected to rise to 37 pounds by 2017. Meanwhile, the average American has gained 13 pounds since 1990.

How does a cheese addict defend himself against cravings and dealers? No, he doesn’t need to go through rehab or take naloxone. You can try a three-week diet limited to whole grains, vegetables, legumes, and fruit, along with vitamins B12 and D. Although it can be challenging, it’s best to go cold turkey (wait for the Swiss) for just three weeks and you should find the right ones. cheese cravings will be subsidized.

Let me know how you do it.