There is one thing in your life that you wish for on a daily basis, but right now it feels like a distant dream. You want to get married and the man you plan to marry doesn’t seem to be on the same page as you. Your boyfriend is more than happy to be your boyfriend, although you feel that it is time to take things to the next level and start your journey as husband and wife. Maybe you’ve tried some not-so-subtle clues to move him in the direction of a wedding. Leaving wedding magazines out in the open or describing in detail the exact engagement ring you want may seem like a great way to get her to ask that last question. Unfortunately, those things won’t get you anything more than a pressured boyfriend. If you’re wondering whether or not you can convince him to marry you, the answer depends on a wide variety of variables.

Think about their reaction when you talk about marriage

How does your boyfriend react when you start an argument that focuses on the topic of marriage? Does he look excited? Does he actively participate in the conversation or immediately change the subject? You can tell a lot about where a man’s mind is at regarding the idea of ​​a serious commitment by how he handles an unexpected conversation about it. If he is open to discussing the idea of ​​marriage, he is definitely on the same page as you. In this case, it’s important that you don’t make it a daily part of your conversation, but bring it up from time to time and focus on things like the size of the wedding he envisions and when he expects it to take place. If he integrates it into your conversations without making it the only focus, he’ll see it as something you’re both thinking about and that will help him feel more comfortable choosing a date and choosing an engagement ring in the near future.

In the case of a man who abruptly changes the subject when you start talking about marriage, that’s a whole other topic to deal with. He has no interest in even discussing a more serious engagement, so it would be difficult to get him to want to marry you at this stage.

Assess your reasons for hesitating to make a commitment

Any man who shies away from marriage has at least one solid reason to do so. For some men it’s because they don’t feel like they have their finances in order. Other men are terrified that they may be choosing the wrong partner and will eventually have to face an acrimonious divorce. Usually this is felt by a man who witnessed a brutal divorce in his own home as a child. You need to determine what is causing him to back down when you talk about commitment.

Many men will avoid discussing what is causing their fear and instead blame the timing. They will say that they are too young for marriage or that they are not ready to make such a serious commitment. If the two of you have been dating for some time, you need to judge if waiting even longer will fit into your own timeline of what you hope to accomplish in your life.

Decide where your own future path should take you

If you feel like your boyfriend is committed to you and will eventually marry you, you need to establish when that might happen. Have a frank and open discussion with him about it. Explain, very directly, when you expect to have a commitment and why you feel it needs to happen by then. Many women live with the mistaken impression that not all men enjoy talking about relationships and where they are headed. The truth is that many men are open to that as long as the woman is direct and honest about what she wants. In this case, she can explain to her man that she envisions the two of them building their life together within a certain period of time. Listen to their thoughts on it, and then find a compromise that works for both of you if you don’t completely agree.

Dealing with a man who has little or no interest in marriage is a completely different story. In this case, you probably won’t succeed if you try to convince him to marry you, and honestly, do you really want to be with a man who needs convincing that you’re the right woman for him?

You need to think about what’s best for you emotionally and that might mean taking a break from him and the stagnant relationship for a while. Explain that you just need time to think about what you want from life. Taking a step back will not only give you the space you need to assess whether holding out hope that he will commit is in your best interest. Also, time apart can help your boyfriend really see that he needs you as an essential part of his life. It may be enough for him to get down on one knee and ask you to be his wife.

Regardless of the outcome of a short-term break, it’s important to stick with what you want from your life. If that’s a man who wants to be your husband, that’s what you should be looking for. Never underestimate yourself when it comes to love and commitment. You deserve everything you wish and hope for your own future.