I recently received an email saying: “Warning: do not open!” When I read the email, it happened to report a computer virus that could destroy the entire hard drive of the computer. You’ve probably received emails from coworkers, family, or friends who had a similar matter. Like a human virus that can spread rapidly from one person to another. A computer virus travels from one computer to another causing great destruction. Once it is logged into a computer, it automatically collects certain codes that quickly scroll through your files to destroy all of your personal data. Other times, it can stay on your computer for days before it frees itself (waiting for certain dates) to spread to other computers and cause harm to the unsuspecting. What does a computer virus have to do with my “unforgiveness” topic?
I believe unforgiveness can be a deadly virus in our lives if we don’t treat it. Many health experts refer to it as “deadly emotions.” Researchers even agree that unforgiveness is linked to a variety of health problems. Studies have been conducted to measure the heart rate, sweat rate, and other responses of volunteers who were asked to recall the ills they had experienced. According to Professor Charlotte Van Oyen of Hope College in Michigan, where the study was conducted; the subjects’ blood pressure and heart rate increased, as well as higher muscle tension. This shows that stress levels are higher when an individual walks unforgiving as close to forgiveness. Stress leads to a host of other illnesses that drive people to hospitals on a daily basis. Dr. Don Colbert, MD says, “One of the secret causes of stress that affects millions of people is unforgiveness.”
What does it mean to forgive? In The Five Languages of Apology, by Dr. Gary Chapman (also the author of The Five Languages of Love) he simply says, “To forgive means to cover up, take away, forgive and be kind. When we forgive, it means lifting the penalty and forgiving the offender. Forgiveness is not a feeling, but a decision. This does not mean that trust is restored immediately. “
Whenever we are wronged or an offense has been committed towards us, at that moment, we have the option to forgive that person or that offense. People often feel justified not to forgive because of what they endured or the pain they endured; however, it ultimately destroys the unforgiving person, not the other person. The human brain is like a computer, it is a memory bank, whether in the short or long term, it releases biochemical stress responses when you meditate and rehearse all the offenses that have been committed against you. I have heard it said that the unforgiving individual is the one who drinks the deadly poison, but wants the other person to die instead.
We were taught as young as we can remember, “forgive and you will be forgiven …” because this is something that seems very elementary, something we probably learned as children and in Sunday school. The opportunity not to forgive confronts us all at one time or another and on multiple occasions throughout our lives. This is a spiritual principle that, if we choose it, will result in freedom. Colossians 3:13 says, “You must consider the faults of others and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” (NLT)
We have all been hurt and devastated by someone close to us, but we have a choice not to allow pain to take root in bitterness, which then causes stress and stress causes a variety of illnesses and ailments that reap in our lives. This can be a viscous cycle, and on a daily basis we are surrounded by people who live in this cycle of unforgiveness. I like what Dr. Colbert says: “Forgiveness does not mean you did not hurt yourself. It is choosing not to live in the feeling of unforgiveness.” If we choose to forgive, does that mean we allow those who hurt us to return to our lives without first gaining our trust? Absolutely not! Depending on where the relationship is located; I think it is a decision between the two people involved.
We all have to choose whether or not to forgive an injury that has been done to us, and it can be the hardest thing to do. Some offenses may seem minor, making forgiveness easier. The real test is when forgiveness is difficult; Remember Dr. Gary Chapman’s definition of forgiveness? When you are willing to cover; to carry out; pardon; be nice to; lift the sentence and pardon the offender.
To prevent dangerous viruses from infecting our computers and causing permanent damage; companies have created antivirus software, an option that is now available and protects our computers from contracting these harmful viruses that can render our computers useless. Like antivirus software, forgiveness is the only remedy or antidote to unforgiveness for our own well-being. No matter how difficult your situation is, choose to let it go, forgive that person who hurt you, the words that were said about you, the abuse you may have experienced, the husband or wife who abandoned you, the children who rebelled and not I appreciated what you did for them. Maybe you need help getting through this, okay, get the help you need. The longer you live in this cycle, the more damage the virus will do.
Like some computer viruses that wait for a certain date to be released; Unforgiveness is similar – it logs into your memory bank, waiting for the day when you can actually release your poison, and then paralyzes you so you can’t move on. It is not an easy matter, but you can do it! Choose to forgive. Do not drink the deadly poison and do not allow the virus to spread through your body, robbing you of health and vitality; stealing your precious life from the joy that belongs to you. You can do it! Forgiveness is powerful! Choose to experience total freedom, health, and healing in your spirit, soul, and body!
Sources:
http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/9905/20/forgiveness/
Dr. Gary Chapman, Jennifer Thomas. The five languages of the apology. Northfied, 2006
Dr. Don Colbert, MD The Seven Pillars of Health. Siloé, 2007